The Wisdom to Know the Difference

I have borrowed Rickys' Serenity Prayer and am repeating it to myself (over and over and over) these days...

Things had been going fairly smoothly since the news of his addiction entered our lives. He's been in his therapy - I've been in mine - and we've actually been communicating and getting along better than we have in years. I feel that he has been open and honest with me about things and, as painful as some of that honesty is for me to handle sometimes, I really appreciate it and feel that it has brought us closer.

For the past 10 days, though, he's been withdrawn - talking less, calling less, texting less - more like "the old Ricky" - cranky, distant and non-communicative. The stress at his job has been mounting as well. These things combined concern me tremendously. Am I being paranoid? Hyper-sensitive? We've identified that feelings of inadequacy and the need to "prove himself worthy" at work are definite triggers for acting out. Too - he's admitted that he pulls away as he's preparing to or in the midst of acting out. I just can't shake this feeling...

Ethel (my therapist) reminded me this morning that I cannot be and am not responsible for his recovery. She recommended that I (as non-acrimoniously as possible) mention my fears and worries to him and let him know that I'm here if he wants to talk. I plan to do just that.