Anticipation

The past few days have been pretty bad. Ricky has - understandably - been full of angst. He has repeatedly said that he's "afraid of what will come out" when (if!) he goes to the recommeded hospital for treatment. I've read that a large number of sex addicts (as much as 80% according to some reports) have a history of some type of abuse (sexual, physical, emotional) in their past. He has shared with me, over the years, stories about his Father who was occasionally prone to violence but mostly an emotional abuser. I've, as sensitively as possible, asked if he thinks there's a possibility that there is some type of sexual abuse or molestation in his past. He insists that he doesn't think so. He claims that, if there is, he must have "buried it" or "blocked it out" because he has absolutely no memory. Both of us agreed that, as horrible as such a realization would be, it would be almost comforing in a way - giving some type of reason or explanation for why he has allowed such a thing to take over his life. What is the alternative? If no explanation or identifiable "cause" is found, wouldn't he have to just admit that he's a creep who got turned onto pornography and let his obsession with it get out of hand - to the point where he started to ignore his wife, children and life in general?

He is coming up with every reason in the world not to go for in-patient therapy. I understand the fear - neither of us know much about psychiatric hospitals. (He has visions of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest in his head!) We've both spoken with people at the facility, however, and everyone has gone out of their way to be kind, understanding an respectful. I don't know how I'd feel or what I'd do if he decided not to go...