Father's Day

When Ricky" opened his Father's Day cards from the kids and me, he was (once again) obviously upset - even gasping outloud after reading mine. He ran to the bedroom and threw it in a drawer. I followed him to ask what was wrong and he tossed the card at me along with one I had given him 5 or 6 years ago. Admittedly, the card from this year was fairly "generic". I had trouble finding one that didn't say Happy Father's Day without saying anything about being "husband of the year". I just don't feel the "husband of the year" thing right now. He was obviously hurt and annoyed and told me that he "gets it now" and that he "sees where I am at". I felt horribly. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

This started a dialogue that eventually ended up in a discussion of the possibility of him being a workaholic. I have been researching it extensively and really feel that that might be a problem for him but hadn't yet spoken to him about it. I mentioned the possibility to the MFT we're going to see tomorrow and decided to give him a "heads up" about it in case she brought it up. He didn't deny the possibility but I find that as soon as he admits it, he immediately rationalizes or makes an excuse for why he works so much - definitely doesn't understand the impact such a thing has on the family, either.

Signs of a workaholic: first one at work, last one to leave, brings work home regularly, most social occasions involve work, most "friends" are co-workers, promises to be home in time for dinner butseldom follows through, if vacations are taken, they're work-related or he constantly checks in or checks e-mails, conversations revolve around work, meals (if eaten at all) are eaten at the desk, can't/does't delegate, multi-tasks a majority of the time, over-schedules and over-plans, desires ccontrol and overreacts to change over which s/he has no control, neglects personal needs like sleep, food and recreation, has memory problems, no connection with loved ones...

It's him to a tee! I wonder if he is willing/ready to accept it and to enter therapy...